My new goal: Making my ideal Tacos al Pastor. I have never had this hypothetical al Pastor because it does not exist as far as I know. I have scoured the bowels of Woodland and the Bay Area for the perfect pastor. I’ve visited the shadiest of taco rolling establishments, on a solid foundation, and on wheels. There are many fine al Pastor tacos out there, hence my obsession with this blessed form of pork, but none of them have all of the qualities that I desire in one tortilla. I am looking for the perfect flavor matched with the perfect texture, it’s hard to find both. Considering the price of near perfect Tacos al Pastor, I don’t know why I want to make my own. Contrary to most foods, I firmly believe that the quality of Mexican food is inversely proportional to the cost of the food; I have found very few exceptions to this rule. Tacos should cost no more than $1 and burritos no more than $4, $5 only if it is big enough to beat down George W. (To the FBI Agents illegally utilizing the Patriot Act: Brooks takes full responsibility for this statement, these are not “necessarily” the views of Kristen).
I did some preliminary research and formulated a recipe that I will try first based on the collective wisdom of others. I procured all of the ingredients so I could make “Tacos al Pastor al Brooks” for my taste testers, but could not find my food processor anywhere! I don't think I have moved it from my old place in the land of Roach Coaches yet. So why am I writing this if I didn't wasn't able to make the adobo sauce? I still had to feed my friends so I cheated and used the adobo that is used to pack with chipotle peppers in the little cans from Mexico (Embassa, La Costena, Herdez). If it is in the little cans from Mexico it is tasty stuff, but just barely qualifies as adobo. I don't want to talk about this attempt much more because it was a failure. It tasted pretty good and my friends didn’t complain, but I don't think they have ever eaten a taco from an establishment that: 1) Is on four wheels 2) Harbors more flies than a barn 3) Only sells Coke in reusable bottles from Mexico 4) Likely sells the other kind of coke if you go to the back of the truck 5) Offers curbs for seating 6) Serves food on paper plates (and it isn’t that classy “Chinet” stuff)……. If the particular establishment is not on four wheels, then I expect to be watching Mexican soap operas or soccer while waiting for my tacos. These are the characteristics of a fine Mexican restaurant.
As usual, I caught something on fire. This time it was my hands, if only figuratively. My hands were in adobo sauce for about five minutes while attempting to squeeze every last drop of adobo sauce out of the peppers. I will be wearing latex gloves from now on. For two hours, my hands felt like they had been ruler slapped by a mid-century British schoolteacher. I should have learned my lesson a few years ago when I had a bad experience after chopping up Habaneros. This is a family blog, so if you want details on that particular story then we will need to communicate via private email.
If I ever come up with my perfect pastor recipe I will let you all know ("you all," referring to our enormous base of daily readers.) I think if we ever get a reasonable amount of readers I will organize a "Woodland Taco Truck Crawl." Kristen has been dying to do this for some time now!
Although I love the shady Taquerias, I am a little bit choosy on where I go based on the fact that I also love cats. Though I have some issues with the food animal industry in general, I prefer to stick with making tacos from the standard food animals. On another note, don’t forget about our friends from south of the border who man our taco trucks and are also indispensable behind the scenes of our fine dining establishments.